Common Computer Questions

In my personal computer life, I constantly hear the same story over and over. Here is the typical statement, "My computer used to super fast, and now it is slow as a dog. I think I need a new one." My short answer would be yes, it sounds like you need a new name brand computer with Gold or platinum support. However, that isn't usually the issue.

You have to change the oil in your car's engine from time to time. It is part of routine maintenance. Likewise, you need to do maintenance on your computer. Many people don't know what to run, and I understand that computer maintenance isn't common knowledge yet. But for those who frequently forget, you can setup a good portion of the maintenance programs to run automatically. There are thousands of walkthroughs available on the Internet. Find them and get them done.
Here is a snippet from my MySpace blog:

Tech Support things that you need to do:

I will post better instructions to my web site in the near future, until then see the following. By the way, if you screw up your computer trying to do anything regarding this message, or by any other means, it is your own fault. Remember that while you are doing illegitimate self abusive things to/with your computer.

1.) Before asking questions of me or my colleagues, RESTART. You should all know that it fixes the majority of the issues that you are experiencing. This is especially true of those who never restart, ever.

2.) Use common sense. YOU CAN NOT BREAK THE INTERNET! If you are not able to connect to the Internet, but the computer in the next cubicle is able to, then the network is not down, the Internet has not crashed, and the server does not have to be restarted. It is probably you, see step #1. In addition, if the message on your screen says, "Please try again later," do it! Wait a few minutes and then try it again. This is especially true of those who intend to ask this question about their dial-up account(s).

3.) Get and install an anti-virus package. Many purchase Symantec or McAffee anti-virus. Those who do not want to spend money can obtain free versions of AVG (http://free.grisoft.com/) or Avast! home edition. (http://www.avast.com/eng/download-avast-home.html). If you are a porn freak and end up with some computer disease because you did not practice safe searching, it is your own damn fault. Surf virus free!

4.) Get and install anti-spyware and anti-adware (anti-malware) utilities. I personally recommend Spybot! Search and Destroy and Ad-Aware. You can get Spybot for free from http://www.safer-networking.org/en/mirrors/index.html. Ad-Aware is free for PERSONAL USE, NOT BUSINESS USE. You can get it from http://www.lavasoftusa.com/software/adaware/.

Some claim that the Microsoft Windows Defender utility that they bought out and rebranded / crippled/ repackaged works well. If you dare, you can get it from Microsoft at http://www.microsoft.com/athome/security/spyware/software/default.mspx. Please be advised that if you are running a hijacked, pirated, illegal version of Windows, the evil dreaded Microsoft Genuine Advantage tool will cause you pain for a very long time. Beware, and get it from somewhere else. You are on your own, do a Google search.

Please note: The advanced features of these programs can cause major problems if not used correctly. If you don't feel comfortable with the advanced features of these programs, don't try to be cool, stay out of them and just use the basic functions.

5.) Ccleaner, which is short for Crap Cleaner, is a great utility to cover your tracks. It removes many of the traces that your normal cookie / cache / history removal does not remove. If you do not know that the index.dat file is on your computer, you should Google it some time when you get a free moment. If you just want to remove a bunch of crap that you don't need on your computer, get Ccleaner from http://www.ccleaner.com/.

6.) Scandisk and Defrag your computer frequently. Instructions on this are freely available on the Internet. If I tell you to do it weekly and you only do it 25% of the time, you will be doing it fine. If you find that you are not able to remember to do it, look up how to perform these functions automatically or purchase a program to do it for you, like Disk Keeper.

Ok, why did I put this here? Because people read what I do for a living and they assume that I can summon the almighty Protons, Neutrons, and Electrons to fix all of their issues using geek magic. Maybe I can and I don't want to. Maybe I want you to buy my book, (To be developed in the near future). So, before you turn to the almighty geek, you might want to do a few things on your own. You have to change your oil on your car. You have to wash your clothes. You have to scrub your toilet (or at least you should). You have to take care of your computer.